Expectations

Camino days 27,28,29

“Serenity comes when you can change expectations to acceptance.” Buddha

Last night in the town of Triacastela there was a church that was dedicated to pilgrims with a statue of St James the Pilgrim facing west from the facade.

But the church was locked up tight and I found out later that it is permanently closed and there is not another church in the town.

All along my Camino for the last 29 days about 90% of all churches have been closed as I passed. I had expected to visit churches all along the way - to sit and pray there -and this has not been possible. And because one of the things I am discerning on this pilgrimage is my relationship with church in general, the fact that I can’t go into a church is something to meditate on.

Not being able to pray in church has not inhibited my prayer life - in fact I am finding my sense of the sacred in so many beautiful, natural places along the Way - in the forests, the mountains (even while climbing them), the animals, the people, the vistas!

This Camino has not been what I expected. It is much more physically demanding than I imagined. The majority of other pilgrims I meet are not doing this for spiritual reasons. So many churches are closed at the same time that new albergues and restaurants and souvenir shops are opening everywhere - the balance between commerce and worship feels off.

And yet, I find I am having tremendous insights and realizations - I enter into a contemplative state while walking 6-10 hours a day through all kinds of terrain and weather. (Yesterday it rained all day and didn’t get warmer than 50 degrees, while last week it was in the 90’s for days on end)

The more I can let go of any expectations I have and be with what is happening now - the more I can lean into the current difficulty and accept it (or at least not grumble about it internally), the more my experience opens into the mystical and the more I feel accompanied by the Holy Spirit.

Peace and Love from Sarria, Spain

Peeka